Amelia is, by all accounts, a miracle. Her tracing never looked great on the monitor, which ended up being the result of a tight true knot in her umbilical cord. Another day in utero, and she wouldn't be with us.
I carried a lot of guilt around delivering so early. I felt like I had failed her by not being able to carry her longer. Like it was somehow my fault that she had to come so early. That's a feeling that I think a lot of us don't want to admit.
Our stay was long -- around 70 days in total. While there were many milestones and ups, there were also many times I questioned if we'd be coming home at all. My babies got their first bath at 10 days old and the nurses had to teach me how to do it and how to feed them -- we got through it with a lot of love and a whole lot more faith and prayer.